The day breaks, the sun streams through the windows still bare of curtains or blinds, and you roll over to see your toddler staring back at you. Over his bubbly, smiling face, you hear your husband snoring and you think, “I wish kids came with a snooze button.”
Alas, they don’t, and you do have to get up and change the diaper, make breakfast, and if you’re like most moms in the first trimester, throw up a time or two. I am not that mom, but I am the mom with overwhelming exhaustion and extreme hunger that cannot be abated by any amount of food. Nevertheless, the day moves on whether you want it to or not.
After breakfast, you cry as your husband leaves you with the kids for the day, and then bemoan the need to walk the dog because your neighbor threatened to call dog control if you let him out without a leash again. And then there’s laundry from last week…and the week before. Then there’s that doctor’s appointment and overdue library books.
All the while your stuffing your face with buffalo sauce and a side of chicken and feeding Cheerios (genetically modified and all) to your toddler while he watches the 100th episode of Blue’s Clues for the second time today (do they have 100 episodes of Blue’s Clues?).
This is my life and in my head I’m a failure of a mom – a homeschool drop out. Where did the toddler trays and the learning toys go? When did the iPad become as regular of an occurrence as hot sauce, and when will we ever start learning our ABC’s?
So if you’re with me on this, may I encourage you?
You are not a homeschool failure.
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. ~Isaiah 40:29-31
God is committed to you. He is pleased with you as His daughter. Your efforts and even perceived failures do not change His everlasting love for you. As your circumstances consume more and more of you, it is tempting to revert to self-sufficiency and works-based righteousness. Yet, God calls us to lay it at the foot of the Cross. To allow Him to walk with us, carrying us where He must, and trust in Him – lean fully into His loving embrace.
Your current circumstances are not lost on Him. He ordained this season right down to the number of hairs on your head (or rather how many you’re losing), and He will be with you, quickening your Spirit when needed, and teaching you that He requires nothing from you. He simply wants you to learn to trust Him in all things.
Other posts you might like:
- He Has Made Everything Beautiful in Its Time from Intentional By Grace
- When You Wonder if You Disappoint from Intentional By Grace
- For a Season from A Delightful Home